Monday, December 13, 2010

Letter to Phatty Muffin Head

Dear Phatty,

     Why the hell did you choose today of all days to plant an odoriferous one in your litter box?  Since coming into my custody, I have not had any problems concerning the state or smell of your litter box and its contents, until this morning.  Like, 10 minutes till I had to leave the house for the bus.  Your morning dump seriously filled Lori's old room entirely.  5 minutes is not enough to air it out, so I burnt two overly-scented candles in hopes of getting the worst of it out of the air.
     I'm sorry to say, dear Phattums, that I shall have to evict you from your Mommy's old room (woman ain't paying your rent, so I see no need to give you free reign over it) and restrict you to the garage entry way.  You will find your litter box conveniently placed nearby for your use, as well as your water and food dispenser which will be brought in during the evenings to prevent those dastardly masked bandits who sneak in through the pet door from stealing your nibbles.  Your living room privileges remain, as well as our scheduled cuddling sessions on the couch. 
     Thank you for understanding! 

     Your Auntie Em

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